The 'Exam High'

I’ve never been high. I don’t mean altitude high I mean narcotics high. Sure I’ve had the funny gas that the dentists give you that makes the world spin and sound reverberate. Or had the sensation of total relaxation one gets when you come out of anaesthesia, but I’ve never tried illicit substances. Confessing this may not give me the right to comment, but from all the information that I hear and see from other sources I can imagine what its like. I’ve watched Trainspotting a couple of times, ok so maybe that’s not a great example, I don’t have any strange ‘baby crawling across the ceiling’ hallucinations. I once knew a girl who partook in various banned substances, which should mean I’m a druggie by association?

When I write exams I get a buzz, so if getting high means that a person feels a rush of adrenaline, heart palpitations and a heightened sense of their environment then I get high as a kite. Writing the actual exam is an extreme experience, you push your body mentally and physically to its limits in the race to beat the clock. Hands cramp, shoulders tense and the brain is stretched trying to remember facts and figures.

As with any drug there has to be a time when the high wears off. With the ‘exam high’ that happens about three hours after writing. You have gone through your paper ten times, berated yourself for not including information that would have guaranteed a distinction and finally convinced yourself that you have failed. Then a slow mellow anguish settles in as you await your results, you are irritable and irrational with family members, you lose weight worrying and are just not your normal happy self. These symptoms are what we as parents are told to look for as signs of addiction. I know I’m addicted because while I’m studying for said exams I’m already going through the prescribed list of subjects looking for my next fix.

My critics (hubby specifically) have commented that I am addicted to stress and not exams and that maybe I should stop studying because I may kill myself but what does he know. I want this natural high; I crave it. I have the benefit of getting more brain cells instead of losing some, ok if it’s really stress I will lose a few. Knowing all this, knowledge is still my drug of choice.